Get Goose

I had my thyroid checked today…and my liver, my kidneys, and pituitary gland. The doctor is trying to decide if my muffin top is the result of a medical issue or just too much cheese dip. I think he really should have been checking my mouth, to see if it needs to be wired shut permanently. The nurse took four vials of blood, which seemed like a lot to me (too bad she didn’t weigh me after she took the blood). Of course, she was the size of a pencil. Why is it every time I have to get on the scale at the doctor, the nurse weighing me is the size of my forearm? I didn’t even look at the scale. I just stared out into space thinking, “This better be a thyroid issue, because I can’t give up cheese dip.” Then the thought hit me, “What if it’s not the thyroid?” “What should I do then?” “Exercise?” “Eat less?” And then finally, a solution. Just lie.