Get Goose

After a baby, sleep is a thing of the past.

I watch my child fighting sleep and think to myself, “I would give someone a million dollars to be in your shoes right now…cradled in my mother’s arms with a warm bottle of milk and a soft cuddly blanket.” Who wouldn’t want to trade places with a baby?

Hell, I am so sleep-deprived these days, I often look at my two dogs and think the same thing. Lazy mutts. When will it be my turn to lay in the sunshine all day, waking only to get up and switch positions?

Life is funny that way. My 10-month-old takes two to three naps a day, but only exerts a small amount of energy crawling around from one toy to the next. He doesn’t do much for himself these days…we feed him, change his diaper, dress him, carry him, play with him, and so on. The kid should be bouncing off the walls with all of the sleep he is getting.

An adult on the other hand (like me, for example), is waking at 6:30am, getting milk for her kid, feeding her dogs, possibly folding a load of laundry in between those two things, dragging her ass to Boot Camp, then rushing home, showering, making the bed, getting dressed, wolfing down some breakfast, possibly Swiffering the kitchen floor in between those two things, driving to work, working for seven to eight hours, racing to pick up her kid, grocery shopping, bolting home, feeding her kid, shoveling dinner down her throat, possibly emptying the dishwasher in between those two things, checking email, and finally going to bed…only to be woken at 4am by a cranky baby, a snoring husband, or a spoiled mutt.

If anyone needs a nap, it is me. I could actually use more than one nap a day. I would be so much more productive. So much happier. So much healthier. So much sexier. So much more attentive to my poor husband who usually only gets to see the “I am so tired” me in the morning and the “I am exhausted” me before we go to bed.

I think someone should invent Daycare for adults. A place where adults could gather to get work done, carry on meetings, check email, answer cell phones, play with Lincoln Logs, and so on. At certain intervals of the day, however (preferably 10:30am and 3pm), everyone would grab a blanket and take a quick little nap. Snack time would be optional, but nap time would be mandatory.

No more caffeine-hyped-up employees. Just well-rested productive citizens ready to take on the world.

A little nap goes a long way.

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